I awake

feeling drugged and still

heavy with sleep, despite a night

of pills to aid a dreamless

sleep.   I am restless, admonishing students

for not caring, trying

to find a way to recover

my life, how to reach

people who don’t want

to be reached.  I wake up flailing

my arms in the dark, hands grasping at something

I can never hold onto, careening into

whatever might come next.